Distance is never easy and for many, college requires distance. This is for all of you who were in or are still in a long-distance relationship.
My boyfriend, Blake, and I started dating the end of our junior year of high school and were dating for about a year and a half when it was time to part ways for college. It is smart not to base your choice of college based on your significant other because you should be your first priority. I chose to come to UW-Stevens Point because it was my best fit all around. He chose a school in Iowa because it was the best fit for his major. 260 miles and 4 ½ hours apart … how were we going to make this work? Well, for us this was not a question, it was “Okay let’s make this work” and with that mindset it makes everything possible.
It will be three years this spring and I could not be happier with our decision to stay committed to each other. Being away from him is never easy, but through my experiences I have so much advice to offer for those of you who have been or are in the same situation as I am. Here are a few tips:
TRUST: This is the #1 aspect to a long-distance relationship. If you can trust someone who is however many miles away, then it leaves out any reasons for stress, anxiety or uncertainty. - Have a plan: If you’re thinking long distance you’re also most likely thinking long term, but take it step-by-step and day-by-day. My freshman year we made a plan to see each other at least once a month. With school vacations and breaks those times were easy, but the off months were hard so we did our best to see each other at those times as well.
- Communication: It doesn’t have to be constant, but it should be stable. There are plenty of days where there is simply no time to call because of the homework, classes, activities or work that may get in the way, but there is always time for a simple “I love you text” or a five-minute Facetime session.
- Mutuality: If you have strong feelings and you know they are mutual it makes for a more secure and happy relationship.
- Support System: Friends and family make the hard times easier. Without the strong friendships I have built here it would be a lot harder to deal with missing my boyfriend. Having other people in your life is just as important to maintain diversity.
I take my long-distance relationship one day at a time and I always have a countdown to the next time I get to see him. It always puts things into perspective for me and brightens my day each time that number goes down. Everything will work out how they are supposed to in the end, it just takes time.
“Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.” – Unknown
Alyssa
Alyssa Deem is a sophomore in the College of Professional Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point.